🔗 Share this article This Drifting Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Year. As we consider the television offerings of the past year, a selection of series emerge not for their excellence, but for their spectacular failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to bafflingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote. The 'Sex and the City' Sequel Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Burdened with dreadful scripts, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. Briefly, as the third season began, it seemed as if it had at last found its groove. Then came an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the last series. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, viewers certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a little sob? The Kim Kardashian Drama ‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’ But that was practically the least of this drama's problems. The subject of a very rare zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to start enumerating the problems. The laughably wooden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and materialism? The almost wilful parade of cliches? Performances so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and never speak of this show again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to. The Charlie Sheen Documentary Considering the restraining orders, abuse allegations and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this series might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charming but flippant narcissist. The Supercomputer Drama Of course we understood it was preposterous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat. MobLand Shady figures meeting in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back. Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other problems. Mainly that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which felt rather simplistic. The Meghan Markle Series Considering the extent to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into quaint lifestyle as deliberate provocations. But then you view them and are forced to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a meme for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by vast, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh. Victoria Beckham There are clearly fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, self-image, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Instead, the experience was like reading a sales catalogue. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series. The Game Show It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her estate. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it. Too Much How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable. Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping Not good enough to be ‘patchy’. Given the smart recruitment of talented younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have remained in there a while longer. The Knox Dramatisation This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be handled sensitively. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from oddly breezy, slightly mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely. The Maths Genius Thriller We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – intellectuals frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers. 1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story This hagiography followed the online personality notorious for explicit escapades as she undertook her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was far greater examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific shots and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.